Disclaimer Satire: How To Become A Gangstar; Not Responsible If You Get Locked Up For Being An Idiot…

Hello everyone, If you clicked on this article I am assuming that you are some weird wanna be intercity kid who someday wants to become a hard core gangstar someday. Well you clicked on the right article because I am a former correctional officer so I got plenty of tips for you wannabe gangstars who dream of being locked away for a few years or maybe even the rest of your life in a maximum security prison someday. It will be a very sad and lonely experience for you and you will be a long ways from your family and loved ones. So I hope you all enjoy this article.

Tip Number 1: Inform your local police department about who you are wanting to become and about any kind of crimes you plan to commit so they will know who you are and will give you the proper experience of what life is really like for these so called hard core gangstars. It will also make life a whole lot easier for everyone else around you including yourself.

Tip Number 2: If you want to be a gangstar and being locked up is your thing make sure you know what your getting yourself into. Do you enjoy wearing striped pajamas or an orange jumpsuit? Do you enjoy the idea of losing your freedom? Do you enjoy not being able to see or talk to your loved ones where ever you please? Do you enjoy being a target for rivel gangs when you end up in the state prison? Or maybe your homeboy in your own radical extremist white supremacist gang will turn on you someday and you will become marked by the rest of the gang. So I hope you enjoy life in protective custody where you spend most of your time locked down at your own request, not because you broke the prison rules, but because you were in fear for your life and wanted to be protected from other inmates who have a hit on you.

Tip Number 3: This one is about gang tattoos; So oviously if you want to be in a gang, you will probaby be getting some tattoos that you will regret getting when you eventually get out of prison and start wondering why nobody is willing to hire you when you try to find a job not just because you have a criminal record for your gang activity but because you were such an idiot to tattoo all over your face because you wanted to impress your idiot gang banger friends who later turned on you for that snitching rumor that was made about you. And that is of course if you actually do get out of prison someday and are not what they call lifers. But most likely you will back back in prison as soon as they release you back on the streets because it will be a rough transition back to the free world and most people especially gangbangers will just be right back in prison where they started.

Tip Number 4: All about the drugs involved; Do you enjoy the idea of having to go to rehab because you have a serious addiction to some hard drugs that you took to try to impress your gangbanger friends because you did not have the courage to say NOT saying no to drugs. You probably did not have the courage to say no to gangbanging either because you are the type of person who would rather follow the crowd instead of being your own independent self. But if this is you, I know you will have plenty of fun in places like jail and rehab. Also a good tip for if you ever run into some weirdo who is wondering where they can get drugs, my best advise is give them the address to your local police department or even better idea is to give them the name to an undercover police officer so they can have a very fun and interesting experience with their next dealer who will made a deal with them for a shiny pair of handcuffs.

Tip Number 4: Is Don’t be an idiot: there are plenty of wackos out their who want to join gangs and they ruin their lives and the lives of those around them. I would highly encourage you to think because you decide to join some gang or because you will end up becoming some wacko gang member who will end up either homeless, in jail, prison, in a mental hospital, or in the grave at a very young age. I also would highly encourage parents to talk to their children at an early age when appropriate about why they should never take drugs or get involved in gangs. Also take your kids to church so they can find people who are a good influence to look up to instead of all these wacko wanna be gangbanger rappers on the television. Thank you for reading and God Bless…