So You Wanna Become A Warmonger?

Hello everyone and today’s article is a satire article about how to become an evil warmonger. Disclaimer I am not responsible if you end up spending an eternity in a place with lake of fire and brimstone called Hell for your evil warmongering actions if you decide to become an evil warmonger. So if fire and brimstone don’t scare you off and you are true psycho then this article is for you.

Step Number One: Lie to the people and spread the fear for example George W. Bush would lie to The American people about Saddam Hussein having weapons of mass destruction even though there was no proof of WMD’s found after Bush invaded Iraq.

Step Number Two: Silence your critics by violating your own Constitution by passing a law like The Patriot Act that authorizes The CIA to spy on its own citizens and limits the constitutional right of freedom of speech.

Step Number Three: Authorize some torture at a secret prison camp called Guantanamo Bay where prisoners of war are head unconstitutionally without even having a right to a speedy trail. Did I say, “Prisoners of War?” No, I said “Unlawful Combatants;” so the warmonger can have a way to justify there means of illegal torture to avoid being charged with war crimes.

Step Number Four: Don’t even bother with the idea of getting congressional approval as The Constitution requires because as President you can play dictator and give yourself some emergency powers to make drone strikes without the approval of congress because during The Bush Administration congress gave The President some unnecessary war powers.

Step Number Five: Is keep your warmongering political donors happy because they helped you get elected right. What do Lindsay Graham, Dick Chaney, and George W. Bush all have in common? They are all warmongers with big political donations from the corrupt military industrial complex where they make tons of money profiting off of your hard earned tax dollars that could have been spent on universal healthcare.

I hope you enjoyed reading my article about how to become an evil warmonger. Thank you for reading and God Bless. Oh wait a minute, if you become an evil warmonger your going straight to Hell so enjoy your eternity in the lake of fire and brimstone. For all my other readers who hate warmongers with a passion. Thank you for reading and God Bless.

The Barlett Online